I just read an article from a blogger, "Motherless Mothering". The article you can go to the nytimes.com, or to this link here, parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/05/07/a-m
Mother's Day is coming up and this is the time of year that it gets really nostalgic for me, even more than Christmas, or maybe, just the same as it does at Christmas. I miss my mom. I do honor her memory, I talk about her with my children and siblings. I do have photographs, I even sometimes talk out loud to her! I look at my grandson, and I think how wonderful it would have been for my mom to meet her great grandson, then again, she probably already did! But it would have been so thrilling to see them together!
The other day my youngest, Amanda was very sad because she missed her grandma. She was 3, almost 4 when grandma died and her memories are sometimes not very clear. She used to ask me where is grandma and why isn't she coming back and I would tell her that grandma is in a happier place because she didnt' hurt anymore, grandma is in heaven. Of course she would ask me in her three year old voice, "Where is heaven mommy?" While I won't get into that now, and I did answer her question on that. These days now that she is older, her questions or more statements such as, "I wish grandma could be here" or "I wish grandma had not died" or "I wish I could see her again". Recently, Amanda was missing her terribly, I don't know what brought it on, but I felt the same way as she did. She came and sat beside me on the bed and began to talk about her grandmother and I listened and answered her questions and then I realised, she was crying. That started my tears too and we cried a little together.
As I read the Motherless Mothering article written by Kristen Stockschlaeder, I felt her pain. The loss of a mother is something that no words can describe and only if you have experienced the loss of a mom, would you know what it feels like. You can feel sympathy, or empathy, you can imagine, but you don't really know. That doesn't make it wrong for someone who has not experienced this loss, to try to understand our pain, not at all. Another person's empathy is always very thoughtful. However, I would not wish this feeling on anyone. The other day I saw a terminology, in another article, "parental orphan" this is when both parents have died. I realised, wait a minute, I am a parental orphan too!
But when it does comes to our moms, there is no other, no one who can take her place. I appreciate the 39/40 years I had with her, but how these last four/five years would have been oh so much more! I will always love you mom, always and forever.
To my fellow writers and readers who are also missing their moms, may your Mothers Day be filled with your happiest memories!
Mother's Day is coming up and this is the time of year that it gets really nostalgic for me, even more than Christmas, or maybe, just the same as it does at Christmas. I miss my mom. I do honor her memory, I talk about her with my children and siblings. I do have photographs, I even sometimes talk out loud to her! I look at my grandson, and I think how wonderful it would have been for my mom to meet her great grandson, then again, she probably already did! But it would have been so thrilling to see them together!
The other day my youngest, Amanda was very sad because she missed her grandma. She was 3, almost 4 when grandma died and her memories are sometimes not very clear. She used to ask me where is grandma and why isn't she coming back and I would tell her that grandma is in a happier place because she didnt' hurt anymore, grandma is in heaven. Of course she would ask me in her three year old voice, "Where is heaven mommy?" While I won't get into that now, and I did answer her question on that. These days now that she is older, her questions or more statements such as, "I wish grandma could be here" or "I wish grandma had not died" or "I wish I could see her again". Recently, Amanda was missing her terribly, I don't know what brought it on, but I felt the same way as she did. She came and sat beside me on the bed and began to talk about her grandmother and I listened and answered her questions and then I realised, she was crying. That started my tears too and we cried a little together.
As I read the Motherless Mothering article written by Kristen Stockschlaeder, I felt her pain. The loss of a mother is something that no words can describe and only if you have experienced the loss of a mom, would you know what it feels like. You can feel sympathy, or empathy, you can imagine, but you don't really know. That doesn't make it wrong for someone who has not experienced this loss, to try to understand our pain, not at all. Another person's empathy is always very thoughtful. However, I would not wish this feeling on anyone. The other day I saw a terminology, in another article, "parental orphan" this is when both parents have died. I realised, wait a minute, I am a parental orphan too!
But when it does comes to our moms, there is no other, no one who can take her place. I appreciate the 39/40 years I had with her, but how these last four/five years would have been oh so much more! I will always love you mom, always and forever.
To my fellow writers and readers who are also missing their moms, may your Mothers Day be filled with your happiest memories!
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