Letter to my Secret Crush

Do I have the crush factor?

You know that guy (or girl) you see once in a while, or maybe....everyday, the one that is so cute, and looks very appealing to you like he (or she) would be your type?  He might just have been the one if you weren't otherwise occupied.  A tall drink of water that would quench your thirst! Ooh la la!

Well, dear secret crush, I'm totally into you. Seriously.  I could imagine some of the things we could do together...run through the grass, walk on the beach...roll around......you get my drift?  I like your looks, you're so cute, those eyes....they get me every time!  ~sigh~

It's been such a long time since you've drifted close enough for flirty conversations!  But my dearest secret crush, you've just burst my bubble, when I got a whiff of b.o.!  Body Odor!!!! ~whew~  WTF???? What is going on in your world I wonder?  How can a girl have a fantasy with someone who makes her want to...P.U.....ughhh~!

I understand we get busy sometimes.  Life happens, the madness reigns, you're left pulling your hair out...not that your short crew cut could be anything but......! ~smiles~.  I totally get how busy we can be going about our lives...but please remember you must take a shower, at least once a day, wear deodorant, you don't even have to use after shave!  Be sure to wear a clean shirt, and pants, and especially socks!!! ~shivers~

It is imperative that you get that right, because how else are us girls supposed to drool when you walk by?  And my secret crush...?  Remember you're just a crush, to be held afar with rose-colored spectacles.....so don't stop being the dream you are!

Ever so droolingly,

Your Secret Admirer


{quite tongue in cheek....or not} Bwwwaahahahahahaha ~