It's amazing how things happen to change your perspectives, your views on your life. You look at things quite differently. You stop wondering at your reason for existing. You stop questioning your life. At least, in the flash of an instance you do.
Yesterday was one of the worst moments in my life. I'm racked with guilt and the thoughts of "I should have" or "what if" or......oh my God... My grandson almost died yesterday and I feel very responsible. We usually spend our Saturdays doing 'stuff'. Going for a walk, going to the pool, the park or the library. Just doing things he and his 8 year old aunt, my daughter Amanda loves to do. We don't do it all, we choose one or two things and go with the flow of the day! In between we eat at home, or have a picnic in the park, read stories and play inside.
I woke up with a splitting headache, another day with a headache, felt like a migraine again. I took two tablets and a shower, then decided I was going to get some exercise, a walk, since running would be too much right now. After my older daughter left for work, Amanda was still sleeping so Jaden and I went for a walk, he in his stroller, w/water & juice and a hat, all the precaution. I didn't go the entire 3.2 miles because at around 11:00am, it was stinking HOT!
We got home, Amanda was awake, gave her food, gave him food, we relaxed a bit. It was decided we would go to the pool to cool off. It was around 2pm when we left out. We had fun at the pool. I had forgotten to wear my hat, a blue straw hat with a wide rim that covers and gives good protection from the sun. I usually would put it on Jaden's head and he enjoyed that, it protected him from the sun. We got out of the pool had some drinks, went back in again. Then I decided it was time to go, it was still HOT. Usually I had a change of clothing for him before going inside, I'm not sure why I didn't this time. We went inside, from extreme heat to the cold of the air condition. He trembled a bit, I changed his clothes, my hubby had made pancakes so we dived into eating pancakes. I wanted us to be freshen, bathed and such, so I took him to his bath and washing his hair. While doing this, all of a sudden he stiffened up. I thought he was playing around, then I noticed a stricken look on his face, a slight trembling of his body so I started yelling for my hubby to help something was wrong! It was total panic mode, he was not moving, Jaden was turning blue. I'm screaming and shouting and praying to God to make him live. My hubby grabbed him from me and covered his mouth with his blowing into him, knocking his back, because I said he was eating something and might be choking. Nothing. He's really blue, I grabbed Jaden, shouted call 911, went to the living room, tried doing the Heimlich, nothing! I placed Jaden on the floor, my mind screamed at myself to do something, you were trained in CPR!! I held up his head and began doing mouth to mouth. His mouth wouldn't stay open, it was clamped tight, I pried it open, tilted his head and told my 15 year old, Adam to hold his head in that position and I gave him mouth to mouth, then pumped his stomach gently in fast motions. He spat up, and started to breathe. For some reason I had my son bring his nebulizer to me and I put the mask over his mouth. It didn't have medicine in it, but with the mask and extra air from the machine, in my head it was extra oxygen. Jaden started to breathe, we were all crying...it was bedlam! In between all this the 911 operator was on the phone, reminding us, me to stay calm, so as not to frighten Jaden. He cried a little, she said crying was good, I removed the mask, and then the EMT/fire rescue arrived. By that time Jaden was up and breathing, but to be on the safe side, they took him to the hospital.
The end result is, a cat-scan showed no damage to him. They realized his body temperature was a 102 and it was assumed that it was sunstroke because of what seemed to have been a seizure, because of his stiffening up. He is still in the hospital for observation and because his fever went up again, he's being kept tonight also. They discovered he has an ear infection.
I kept crying, feeling so guilty because I was responsible for him, and he almost died. I should have not gone to the pool, I should not have taken him for a walk in the sun, I should have been more careful, forgetting the hat, his change of clothing...I'm beating myself up pretty badly. My family reminds me that I saved his life, that we didn't know this would have happened, that it was an accident.
I just want to hold him again, having him running around here, getting into trouble. I wondered if there would be any effects to his brain? But my daughter said, he's back to himself, eating, playing and looks normal. Thank you Lord Jesus. I realized to myself that I should look on the positive side, Jaden is ALIVE! Jaden is alive.
Yesterday was one of the worst moments in my life. I'm racked with guilt and the thoughts of "I should have" or "what if" or......oh my God... My grandson almost died yesterday and I feel very responsible. We usually spend our Saturdays doing 'stuff'. Going for a walk, going to the pool, the park or the library. Just doing things he and his 8 year old aunt, my daughter Amanda loves to do. We don't do it all, we choose one or two things and go with the flow of the day! In between we eat at home, or have a picnic in the park, read stories and play inside.
I woke up with a splitting headache, another day with a headache, felt like a migraine again. I took two tablets and a shower, then decided I was going to get some exercise, a walk, since running would be too much right now. After my older daughter left for work, Amanda was still sleeping so Jaden and I went for a walk, he in his stroller, w/water & juice and a hat, all the precaution. I didn't go the entire 3.2 miles because at around 11:00am, it was stinking HOT!
We got home, Amanda was awake, gave her food, gave him food, we relaxed a bit. It was decided we would go to the pool to cool off. It was around 2pm when we left out. We had fun at the pool. I had forgotten to wear my hat, a blue straw hat with a wide rim that covers and gives good protection from the sun. I usually would put it on Jaden's head and he enjoyed that, it protected him from the sun. We got out of the pool had some drinks, went back in again. Then I decided it was time to go, it was still HOT. Usually I had a change of clothing for him before going inside, I'm not sure why I didn't this time. We went inside, from extreme heat to the cold of the air condition. He trembled a bit, I changed his clothes, my hubby had made pancakes so we dived into eating pancakes. I wanted us to be freshen, bathed and such, so I took him to his bath and washing his hair. While doing this, all of a sudden he stiffened up. I thought he was playing around, then I noticed a stricken look on his face, a slight trembling of his body so I started yelling for my hubby to help something was wrong! It was total panic mode, he was not moving, Jaden was turning blue. I'm screaming and shouting and praying to God to make him live. My hubby grabbed him from me and covered his mouth with his blowing into him, knocking his back, because I said he was eating something and might be choking. Nothing. He's really blue, I grabbed Jaden, shouted call 911, went to the living room, tried doing the Heimlich, nothing! I placed Jaden on the floor, my mind screamed at myself to do something, you were trained in CPR!! I held up his head and began doing mouth to mouth. His mouth wouldn't stay open, it was clamped tight, I pried it open, tilted his head and told my 15 year old, Adam to hold his head in that position and I gave him mouth to mouth, then pumped his stomach gently in fast motions. He spat up, and started to breathe. For some reason I had my son bring his nebulizer to me and I put the mask over his mouth. It didn't have medicine in it, but with the mask and extra air from the machine, in my head it was extra oxygen. Jaden started to breathe, we were all crying...it was bedlam! In between all this the 911 operator was on the phone, reminding us, me to stay calm, so as not to frighten Jaden. He cried a little, she said crying was good, I removed the mask, and then the EMT/fire rescue arrived. By that time Jaden was up and breathing, but to be on the safe side, they took him to the hospital.
The end result is, a cat-scan showed no damage to him. They realized his body temperature was a 102 and it was assumed that it was sunstroke because of what seemed to have been a seizure, because of his stiffening up. He is still in the hospital for observation and because his fever went up again, he's being kept tonight also. They discovered he has an ear infection.
I kept crying, feeling so guilty because I was responsible for him, and he almost died. I should have not gone to the pool, I should not have taken him for a walk in the sun, I should have been more careful, forgetting the hat, his change of clothing...I'm beating myself up pretty badly. My family reminds me that I saved his life, that we didn't know this would have happened, that it was an accident.
I just want to hold him again, having him running around here, getting into trouble. I wondered if there would be any effects to his brain? But my daughter said, he's back to himself, eating, playing and looks normal. Thank you Lord Jesus. I realized to myself that I should look on the positive side, Jaden is ALIVE! Jaden is alive.
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